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标题: [生活] A Full Moon (回忆移民美国的旅程） [打印本页]

作者: allenwu 时间: 2008-5-18 09:52 标题: A Full Moon (回忆移民美国的旅程）

Thorough the window of the van, tree, houses, are quickly passing from my view. Looking to the sky, it is a clear night, many stars, of course, there is a moon---- a full moon. Back to me, now I am currently in the van whit my family, we are on our way to Canton International Airport. At this time, especially whit the full moon, and we are leaving our hometown, it really make people feel sad. During the two hours drive to the airport, the van is silent, I can only hear the sound of the engine.

      The Airbus 330 is ready to take off on the runway. Later, start running, faster and faster, the plane head to air. Through the window, I look back to Canton. This is really the first time for me to look our country from the air. But this time was nothing exciting but sad. Goodbye to my country, my friend, my little dog and everyone who care about me. I will be back!!
      After three hours, the plane had landed at Seoul, Korea. We will transfer to another airplane to continue our journey to Seattle, we follow the sign to find the transfer counter
We go around the airport. Ask people, Korean people don’t speak Chinese and English, Thus it is hard to get information from them. Fortunately, we met a Chinese pilot and he took us to the transfer counter. With his help, we got our boarding pass, and we still had five hours. Hungry, I remember I have food in the back pack. That makes me feel sad again, tears coming out, because this food was given by my friend. Their words still in my mind: get these, don’t be hungry. Such simple words but show the great friendship.
      I also met a Chinese elder while we waiting our flight. He was waiting for his flight to San Francisco. He had been living in the Untied Stats for 20 years, has great immigrant experience. He knew us are new immigrant, therefore he told us a lot of his personal story, the Bay Area. I think his story is very useful and will eventually help us.

      At 6:00, our flight had come---- the Boeing 777. We got on the plane, my seat was nearby the window. As the plane took off, the sky was getting darker. Through the window, I saw the moon again, and it was still a full moon. I looked at it, the moon looks like a big smile, a smile from friends, from everyone who care about me. “Get these, don’t be hungry.” “Don’t forget us.” All those words still echo in my brain.
      However, life had to go on. I will remember today in the rest of my life. July 14 2006, the day we star completely changes my life. I look at the map in front of me. We are now in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The ocean is blue, great blue, like tears…
Seattle is getting closer and closer, I saw the coastline of the Unite States. So far, I saw Key Area, The Space Needle. A lot of tree, make the city so beautiful. Few minutes later, the plane had landed at SEA-TAC Airport. My uncle had been waiting for us somewhere in the airport.
      At that night, I saw the moon again, the same full moon.

[ 本帖最后由 allenwu 于 2008-5-17 17:55 编辑 ]

作者: magicinlife 时间: 2008-5-18 11:08

During the two hours drive to the airport 在名词和名词间要加上上所有格，所以要改为hours'

But this time was nothing exciting but sad 这个句子里的时态不太对，不能和上文相对应。

还有就是要说的是文章里的事态很混乱，希望兄弟写这种会忆类的文章尽量用过去时为标准，不要随意混杂着不同的时态，后面有不少这样的问题我就不指出了。

tears coming out　这句话里在tears后面要加上common(,)

I also met a Chinese elder while we waiting our flight. 时间状语从句后面是要加上be动词的。

He knew us are new immigrant　us要改为we

therefore he told us a lot of his personal story story要改为复数形式。

the day we star completely changes my life.这句话我不知道是什么意思，看不懂，是不是哪里写错了

A lot of tree　复数

作者: ssTory 时间: 2008-5-18 11:33

他大概是想表达"人生从此改变"或者"人生重要转折的一天"这样的意思.

作者: allenwu 时间: 2008-5-18 13:35

引用:

原帖由 magicinlife 于 2008-5-17 19:08 发表
During the two hours drive to the airport 在名词和名词间要加上上所有格，所以要改为hours'

But this time was nothing exciting but sad 这个句子里的时态不太对，不能和上文相对应。

还有就是要说的是文 ...

汗了，兄弟，看来我发上来是对的，多谢你帮我改了那么多语法....
我一定要继续发奋，发奋..

作者: qq1991 时间: 2008-5-18 23:29

真是到哪里都能看到强人.想想我学的英语早就还给老师了!
看来要重新好好学习,天天向上了!

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